Feeling Frisky After Miscarriage? What Does It Mean When Your Hormones Are High After Miscarriage

With all the different feelings and emotions you (and your partner if you have one) might have after going through a miscarriage, it might feel weird – and maybe even wrong – to be feeling frisky after miscarriage. Here’s why its normal to want sex, and what it means when your hormones are high after a miscarriage.

Going through a miscarriage can bring up emotions around grief, guilt, emptiness, fear and loneliness. Having your libido come back in full force can make you feel ashamed at the thought of feeling frisky after miscarriage, especially when there is an assumption that women won’t feel like having sex for a long time as they are grieving.

For some women, sex is the last thing on their mind and it is completely okay to put sex aside following a pregnancy loss for as long as you need to heal physically and emotionally. Yet for other women, sex can be a part of the healing process and completely normal too as your hormones are changing again after a miscarriage.

Feeling frisky after miscarriage? Here’s how long to wait before having sex

Generally most women are given the green light for sex as soon as 2 weeks after your miscarriage, as long as the bleeding has stopped. You may bleed for a period of time after having a miscarriage as your body is clearing the uterus. During this time, sex is inadvisable as your cervix is dilating wider than normal, hence making your uterus more prone to infection.

So wait at least 2 weeks after your miscarriage to insert anything into the vagina – and that includes things like tampons, fingers, and sex toys too.

Related: How to use sex toys after birth to ease your way back into sex

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What does it mean when your hormones are high after miscarriage?

That feeling frisky after miscarriage is a result of the hormonal changes after a miscarriage. The hormonal changes after a miscarriage will depend on how far along you were and how your hormones were during your pregnancy.

With all your hormones changing again and the fact that you are now super fertile after going through a miscarriage, it will explain why you are craving sex again.

Some women ovulate as soon as 2 weeks after the miscarriage is complete and up to 6 weeks after a miscarriage, which makes pregnancy a possibility if you are having sex during that time. Remember to use a condom if you are not ready to get pregnant again.

Is it OK to have an orgasm after miscarriage?

Medically, it is perfectly okay to have an orgasm after a miscarriage. While you should wait for at least 2 weeks after your bleeding from the miscarriage has ended before having penetrative sex, having an orgasm as a result of external stimulation is okay.

That said, miscarriage often changes the way our relationships are with our own bodies, and for some women, finding self-pleasure or having an orgasm can feel scary – or blocked.

The anxiety and stress that comes with each miscarriage can create fear and anxiety around sex and getting pregnant again. It might be bringing up fear around having another miscarriage. This makes it difficult to be present emotionally during sex, and can inhibit your ability to experience orgasm. 

Another reason you might struggle to have an orgasm after a miscarriage is due to depression or taking antidepressants to manage depression after a miscarriage.

Grief & sex – and why grief sex is actually healthy

Grief and sex often fact go hand in hand during a time of emotional pain, even if it might sound counter intuitive. For some, having sex after a miscarriage can be about literally and figuratively filling the void .

Grief sex is normal and healthy, as sex can help you feel something as you are going through the grieving period following a miscarriage and are numb from grief. Orgasms also release oxytocin which is known as the “feel good” hormone, thus helping to reduce your perception of pain and sadness.

Just remember that wanting sex after having a miscarriage or feeling frisky after miscarriage doesn’t make your grief any less real. Whether it is because your hormones are increasing your libido, whether you just want to feel like yourself again, or maybe you want to conceive another pregnancy, it is okay to feel aroused and want sex after having a miscarriage.

Is sex after miscarriage painful?

In the early days after having a miscarriage, you may experience pain or cramping similar to cramps during your menstrual periods, either during or after sex. This is because the uterus is contracting and the cramps should start to subside as the uterus goes through its healing process.

However, if you are experiencing unpleasant smelling discharge or fever and suspect that an infection is causing the pain, seek your doctor’s attention immediately.

What to do if your partner is not ready for sex

Feeling frisky after miscarriage but your partner isn’t keen on sex yet? Going through a miscarriage does not only affect the woman carrying the fetus, but often it also affects the partner – whether or not they experience the same emotions. For some partners, they might not be feeling up to sex after going through the miscarriage as they may still be going through the grieving period.

Whether it is because they might be afraid of hurting you when they touch you, or out of concern that sex is being used as a distraction from the grief and will hinder your healing, it is important to have a honest conversation around your needs (and theirs) for sex and intimacy following your miscarriage.

It is also important to remember that intimacy can come in other forms besides sex. If you or your partner is not completely ready for sex, then there are other ways to express closeness such as kissing, hugging, giving each other massages, or setting aside time to go on a date.

Feeling frisky after miscarriage is completely normal

You should not feel guilt or shame if your libido is back up again and you start feeling frisky after miscarriage. Sex after having a miscarriage is normal and happens to many women who have experienced miscarriages, as long as you feel emotionally and physically ready for sex again.

Because pleasure gets better the more you know what you like and need! Learn more about women sexual wellness, self pleasure tips, and more.